Test Drive: 2011 Volkswagen Tiguan 2.0T 4Motion

By Kevin Harrison

If you’re a heterosexual man, chances are you’ve had at least one girlfriend over the years that, to steal a Seinfeld analogy, had your brain and your penis duke it out in a game of chess. And if you’re at least the normal type, chances are you’ve had not one but several experiences like this. I certainly have.

It’s quite the catch 22 isn’t it? You could have the most stunningly beautiful girl, but she can be as dumb as Miley Cyrus, or as annoying as Miley Cyrus, or as embarrassing as Miley Cyrus or as high maintenance as Miley Cyrus. In which case, do you stay with her for the shallow but ultimately important reason of being able to constantly turn you on by wearing lulu lemon pants alone, or do you date someone who may be rather plain in appearance but can at least have an intelligent conversation with you and won’t threaten to key your car if you decide to watch the game with the guys instead of hanging out with her.

I’m convinced that most Volkswagen owners don’t bother choosing between the two. They just make do with the attractive high maintenance girlfriend that is their car.

The Volkswagen Tiguan is the perfect example of what I mean.

Firstly, there’s no denying that that the exterior is decidedly good looking. In particular, the front end exudes the classic Volkswagen styling of seemingly simplistic, yet retains a premium look. The side profile is also tasteful with classic compact SUV lines complete with multi-spoke alloy wheels while the rear view is accented with large tail circular tail lights. It’s a very attractive design and I can find few faults with it. It does, however, give the impression of being on the small side.

But that impression quickly fades once you hop inside. Space is actually generous with head room being the most plentiful. Rear seat room could be a bit more, however, it’s still adequate. Cargo room is good and the 60/40 folding rear seats help to haul larger items. My tester came with a stupidly large panoramic sunroof which really helps to add an airy feel to the interior. There is no solid sunroof shade which means a slight draft from the sunroof can enter the cabin in really cold temperatures. No matter though, the heated seats warm up your rear end in what feels like seconds and the rest of the climate controls are easy to use and well laid out. But, and this is true for all Volkswagens, operating the sunroof is unconventional in that it uses a dial. This means you need to actually look at where to turn the dial for your preferred sunroof setting which means taking your eyes off the road for an extended period of time. Also the steering wheel is oddly tilted at an angle which can not be fixed by the tilt/telescoping feature. It takes a bit of time to get used to it, but you do eventually. As per usual, quality of materials are excellent.

The Tiguan has a 2.0 ltire turbocharged four which punches out 200 horsepower and 207 pound feet of torque. This is Volkswagen’s award winning TSI engine and it’s not hard to see why. Torque is immediately available at 1700 rpm. But despite that, the Tiguan posts a rather slowish 0-100 time in 7.9 seconds. I actually find that hard to believe as it feels much quicker than that, especially with the very fast and smooth shifts of the six speed automatic. If you get a regular front wheel drive Tiguan you shave 0.1 seconds off the time. That said, having only four cylinders theoretically will help ease gas usage and that was Volkswagen’s thinking when they put the TSI engine in there. The thing is though, it’s not even good on gas. The Tiguan is rated at 11.6 L/100 kms city and 8.3 highway. I returned 13.6 in combined driving. To be fair, a lot of driving was done in -10 degree weather or colder and that can substantially affect fuel efficiency. Still, the official ratings aren’t terribly impressive.

My tester had 4Motion all-wheel drive which really helped the Tiguan stay planted in the corners, but also gave some credibility to its jacked up appearance. Come to think of it, the best way to describe the handling abilities of the Tiguan is saying it’s like a jacked up GTI, which is quite the compliment. The handling is quite nimble and the steering is precise with a good heavy feel (if you like that sort of thing… which you should if performance is at all important to you). Getting the Tiguan stuck in the snow is as hard as bringing yourself to go on a date with, you guessed it, Miley Cyrus. It’s quite good in the snow.

So far things seems like they’re going well for the Tiguan, right? It seems the Tiguan is on its way to being a very attractive, fun girlfriend that you would gladly show off to anyone.

But it isn’t. It’s actually one of those attractive high maintenance girlfriends that I was talking about. Literally.

When I picked up the Tiguan it had about 50 kilometres on the odometer, in other words brand new, never really driven. I was pretty much the first person to take it on an extended drive. At 95 kilometers on the odometer a light came on the dash warning me that I had a bulb out. Thinking there was no way that was true with only 95 kilometers on the car, I immediately pulled over to check. Sure enough, it had a headlight out. Seriously! I’m sorry, I don’t care who you are or how long you’ve been making cars, there’s absolutely no excuse for a burnt out head light with 95 kilometers on the odo. It didn’t even hit triple digits yet!

Then, at around 155 kilometers a warning light came on insisting that I needed windshield wiper fluid. I doubted that as well considering it should’ve been full and barely used with such low kilometers, but I checked anyway. It turned out there was plenty of windshield wiper fluid. The warning light just came on for no reason and stayed on.

And on my last day with the Tiguan the doors wouldn’t lock. It wouldn’t lock from the key fob or from inside. This was bad news as I couldn’t just leave the Tiguan unlocked all day as the office for my day job is located in, well, a neighbourhood other than Mr. Rogers’. So I decided I had to take it into the dealership right away to get looked at. I climbed back into the drivers seat and tried to close the door. It wouldn’t close. I thought the seat belt was catching on it, but it wasn’t. It just literally would not close.

So now, not only could I not leave the Tiguan unattended because the doors wouldn’t lock, but I couldn’t even drive it because the door wouldn’t close.

Bravely, I decided to drive it into the dealership anyway. This meant one hand on the wheel and one hand holding the driver’s door close. It’s not until you do this when you realize just how heavy a car door is. My left arm definitely got quite the workout trying to keep it shut, especially when taking a right turn. Now I understand why driving instructors insist on driving with both hands at ten and two. It’s definitely hard to steer a car with one hand while all your energy going going towards doing something else.

I pulled into the dealership, got out and tried closing the door again. It shut properly. What?! I was baffled. I got a salesman to take a look at it and he didn’t get it either. The explanation he came up with was that there was likely some ice that got jammed in the door or that the door was frozen. That’s unlikely since a) if it was frozen I wouldn’t have been able to open the door in the first place and b) by this time the temperature had warmed up to 0 degrees.

So there you have it. The Tiguan is pretty much like Jennifer Lopez. Very good looking, very talented, very agreeable overall, but it can be quite the regular diva. Owning a Tiguan would be exactly like having a hot high maintenance girlfriend. Depending on what you’re into, that could very well work for you. But me? I like my girlfriends to be way more reliable. In fact, I like to have the complete package.

The Tiguan is a great vehicle plagued by the unfortunate shaky reliability of its family. Pity.

Price As Tested: $41,770

Pros: