FAIL: This is Why I Park Like A Jack-Ass

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My friends usually make fun of me for where and how I park my car. I refuse to park next to anyone anywhere. Therefore, I park way at the other end of the lot where no one bothers to park because it’s too far from the doors of the store. Because you know, it’s not like North American’s could use the exercise that the extra walk from the car to the door provides. Anyway, even then I only park in corner spaces because there is always some cock bag who will park next to me regardless of how much out of my way I go to ensure that very situation does not happen. And then I park on the line closest to the corner of the space to ensure no dings can ever occur from people who apparently have enough sense to pass a driving test but not enough sense to know how to open a car door properly. People usually call me a jack-ass for purposely parking on the line, but whatever. I figure if I park far enough away, it doesn’t really affect anybody anyhow.

Now, the picture above is a perfect example of why I do this. I don’t think I could describe in words the amount of rage that would consume my body and soul if I was the owner of the Nissan 370Z (40th anniversary edition too!) pictured above while coming back to my car. I would likely bludgeon the owner of the white Honda Accord along their family with an axe. There’s no way the clot who owns the Honda Accord Hybrid didn’t notice how close they had parked to the 370Z. There’s no way there wasn’t any scraping. Judging by the condition of the Accord, the owner obviously doesn’t care about the car to begin with. If there were a car equivalent of child services, I would be tempted to call to save this poor Accord from its reckless owner.

In any event, FAIL FAIL FAIL to the Accord Hybrid owner. I’m going to print this picture and show it to the next person who makes fun of me for parking the way I do.

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1 Response to "FAIL: This is Why I Park Like A Jack-Ass"

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