Test Drive: 2010 Hummer H3

By Kevin Harrison

Ever notice how bad timing happens way more often than good timing? For instance, I somehow found myself at a baby shower that was organized by my office for my very pregnant boss. I was roped into helping to organize it. What was even more puzzling than that was I was put in charge of coming up with fun games so that people didn’t gouge their eyes out after the awkwardness set in when they realized that they were indeed at an office baby shower. I’m not sure whose clever idea it was to have a male help out with a baby shower because all I kept coming up with were drinking games and inappropriate jokes during the whole process.

Then someone had an idea to get all the staff to bring in baby pictures of themselves and then our pregnant boss would have to guess who’s who. Still in inappropriate joke mode, I then decided to blurt out “well she’ll be able to get Judy’s picture right away because her’s will be the only picture in black and white”. Right at that moment, Judy, our Executive Director, had walked in the room. The look on her face could only be described as anything but amused. Why did she not come in about 5 minutes earlier when I had actually complimented her for her homemade potato salad she brought in the day before?

Likewise, why did the first ever African American President of the United States have to get elected right after one of the worst President’s in their history? He left the country in the worst possible condition and now President Obama must somehow fix all the problems that someone else created. As a result, Obama’s approval ratings are at an all-time low as people seem to want quick fixes to things that take time. So now because of this bad timing, the next time an African American offers his/her candidacy for President, all people will remember is how Obama didn’t fix things on the double and then said candidate will get no where before even getting started.

And so, the bad timing continues on in life with the latest being this very review. Fresh from Car Driven’s bad timing department comes our test of the Hummer H3. This is bad timing in many ways. Firstly, very few people are now in the market for a gas guzzling SUV so Hummer’s SUV only lineup isn’t exactly on the public’s radar. Secondly, and most importantly, it was announced just a few days ago that Hummer is going to cease to exist.

So why did I even bother?

Well, simply put I was given the opportunity to try out Hummer’s smallest offering and I very rarely say no to test drives. If anything, this was an opportunity to see what all the hype was about surrounding the brand when it was first introduced for sale to the public back in 1992 and if GM is making a mistake by winding the brand down.

There is no mistaking it for anything else on the road. Hummer has actually done a pretty good job of keeping a family resemblance across the line, all while keeping each model distinctive. The H3, however, is the result of unfortunate shrinkage. This overly rugged look may be able to get passed onto the H1 and H2, but having it on a smaller SUV makes it look strange from certain angles. Those large wheel arches are way over the top as is the chrome and in this case, the colour. When driving this thing, you do get lots of stares from passersby, but they aren’t looks of admiration. In fact, you feel like a huge tool driving the H3. A lot of people consider Hummer to be the epitome of ruggedness and testosterone, which may or may not be true, but that’s absolutely useless when a group of girls waiting for the bus laugh and point as you drive by. And yes, that did actually happen during my time with the H3.

Don’t think that they will be impressed by the interior either because I did the exact same thing -laugh and point. I couldn’t believe how bad the quality of materials were. The dash looked and felt cheap and you could even push the plastic on the dash in and out a few millimetres. The dash layout isn’t bad, but the gauge layout has a strange yellowish hue when the headlights are on and it seems as if all the gauges are positioned too low no matter how much you adjust the seat.

One thing the Hummer has going for it is comfortable seats. The black leather with white piping looks good and they actually feel high quality. Therefore, the jumble of low quality materials for the interior and high quality materials for the seats makes Lindsay Lohan look like less of an awkward mess.

Cargo room is good with 65 cms with the seats up and 145 with the seats down. Those seats don’t fold quite flat however, being 60/40. Rear seat room is great as is leg room. There will be no complaints from any passengers, especially on long trips.

Outward visibility is pitiful thanks to those extremely narrow windows and full sized spare tire mounted on the back. This makes the H3 a bit of a challenge to park, but a tight turning radius and decent sized side mirrors make it a little easier. My tester had a large sunroof which really helped to open up the cabin from its otherwise cave like feel.

The tailgate is long and swings open from the left side. This is good because if you are parked on the street, you don’t need to walk around the tailgate in order to load stuff inside. The handle of the tailgate has a tendency to stick (see pic below). It isn’t just the tailgate handle either, all the door handles tend to do this which really makes you wonder how much GM actually spent on small details like this. On a brand new vehicle, the handles should not be sticking.

Power is laughably bad. GM decided to put a 3.5 five cylinder engine in the H3 which makes due with 220 horses. Considering how heavy this thing is… really? A 5 cylinder? Engine noise is intrusive to the cabin and it is quite whiny. The H3 could definitely do with the optional V8 (which adds flex fuel capability for 2010). On top of that, the four-speed automatic seems to suffer from turrets as gear shifts are unexpected and jolty.

Handling? There is none. I seriously can’t remember the last time I was in a vehicle that had such atrocious body roll. While I understand that handling isn’t what this vehicle is made for, it should still be expected to make a normal turn at a normal speed without squealing the tires or feeling as if you are going to roll over faster than Beethoven did.

If it seems like I’m being very harsh with the H3, well, I am. There are a lot of things that this vehicle cannot do well. That said, there is one thing it does extremely well and thus, I saved the best for last. As you’d expect, this vehicle can hold its own off road. Actually that’s a grievous understatement. It’s phenomenal off-road. I had the chance to take it to all sorts of off-roading conditions and the H3 handled it better than anything I’ve ever driven. I’m convinced it’s near impossible to get this thing stuck. Thanks to its 4 wheel locking system, the H3 is very happy to tackle any kind of road you double dare it to. Using the 4 high or 4 low is as simple as pressing a button and you’re on your way. The undercarriage is completely protected so you don’t need to worry about scuffing the bottom on rocks or tree roots.

So, did GM make the right decision in winding down Hummer? Yes. There is absolutely no need for any civilian to own one of these. It does nothing right, with the exception off-roading, but the average person will never regularly take this $41, 000 vehicle off road. So should Hummer just drive off into oblivion? No. That would be a travesty! A vehicle this good at off-roading should really be taken advantage of by the military like they were originally intended for. Or even rural police forces could make use of its of road capabilities. Retro is definitely in and going back to your roots is usually a safe bet for any car company that finds themselves in a slump. And the timing just might be the best that Hummer could have right now with two wars going on in the middle east, peacekeeping missions in Africa and relief missions in Haiti and Chile. GM, stop selling these things to the public and put them to work where they really can make a difference in the world. There’s never any bad timing for that.

Base Price: $41,895

Price As Tested: $44,595

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