Editor’s Note: Please join me in welcoming contributing writer Sladen West to Car Driven. Sladen is a freelance automotive writer and is passionate about defensive driving. Check back for often to read more of his work! -Kevin, Editor In Chief.
By Sladen West
Driving isn’t something that can be learned from a book; it’s a delicate ballet of muscle memory and reflexes, all performed under the harsh direction of competing physical laws and forces. So, if you want to learn how to drive, who better to teach you than someone who regularly drives in one of the most traffic congested cities in the United States? Well, almost anyone actually, because in New York City, defensive driving means preemptive strikes and fast getaways. Here are seven tips to ignore if you want to be a good, safe driver.
1. Anywhere worth going, is worth going fast
Don’t let the speedometer fool you; you’re car should have exactly three speeds: As fast as possible, dead stop, and on it’s way to one or the other. Trying to keep your car to a sensible speed will only confuse it, and let everyone else on the road know how unimportant your time is.
2. Turn signals are treasonous
You wouldn’t want some military scientist to sell American secrets to foreign powers, so why should you let turn signals broadcast your intentions to every other motorist on the road? Seriously, driving is a game of chess; don’t tell your opponent when you’re about to move your queen in for the kill. An anticipated move is one that can be easily countered.
3. Stopping distance is a sign of weakness
If you leave a car length or two between you and the car in front of you, then don’t expect it to remain empty for long. Nature abhors a vacuum, and as soon as that space opens up, another car will be pulled from across the universe through space and time to fill it. Instead, let everyone know that you’re next in line by riding so close that you can read the digital display on the other car’s CD player. At the same time, if you see an opening between two cars, fill it; it’s your duty.
4. You need to be exactly where you want to be
Remember, there is no one on the road who is more important, or even as important, as you. If you want to be in a certain lane, but there isn’t an opening, make one. Establish your dominance by slowly, deliberately, and apologetically sliding on over. Other cars will move for you—they know how important you are. Also, if a lane is closed ahead and you’re being directed into another lane, but there’s a long line of cars, just drive as far as you can until the cones start pushing you over. Again, the other cars will let you in; they don’t want you to have to wait in line like a schmuck.
5. Mistakes are easy to fix
If you find yourself in the wrong lane, or passing your exit on the freeway,then fix it fast. Don’t bother with long detours or backtracking, just shoot across traffic and get to where you want to be.
6. The only real parking spot is the one by the door
Never park in handicapped spots; they’re generally too far from the entrance. Instead, park along the red curb or on the sidewalk. If there isn’t a sidewalk, then just stop your car in the road and go do what you need to do. Other driver’s will get a free lesson in much needed patience while they wait behind your driver-less car.
7. Taste the rainbow
Many people will try to tell you that there are only three colors on a traffic light, but they’re wrong. Between green and red, there are innumerable shades and tints, each with their own meaning. So, at first glance, the light may appear red, but the experienced driver might note that it has only recently changed from yellow, so it is in fact more of an orange, or perhaps a vermillion at most. Vermillion is okay to drive through, as long as you’re quick about it. In fact, the only really absolute color is green. If the light is green, you can go. It doesn’t matter if the intersection is full, or if you’re taking a left across oncoming traffic and the sign says that you should “yield,” just trust the green light.
For each of these situations, be sure to announce your presence and importance to the lesser drivers on the road through liberal use of your horn. Stuck in traffic? Want a parking space? Unhappy about the mother with the baby carriage in the crosswalk in front of you? Hit the horn and watch all your problems dissolve. By mastering these simple tips, you too can drive like New Yorker. And remember, when it comes to driving, the best defense is a good offense.
Sladen West is a freelance writer and defensive driving expert.